Member-only story
Living with the Beasts
First chapter of my new poor self-perception book — Please give me feedback!
Chapter One
Living with the Beasts
I remember Sunday evenings were the worst for me; the thought of school the next day filled me with more than just dread. Gone would be the safety of my home, my room, my world of books. Instead, a long week stretched out filled with busy yet lonely playgrounds and solitary lunchtimes. I had a special place at the back of the school by the tennis courts where I would read and eat my lunch in peace. I hated the rain; it meant I had to stay in the classroom for breaktime, and eating in front of the other kids was more than I could manage; those were hungry days.
Looking back, I can’t think why I struggled with this so much. I’ve watched children at my daughters’ school during breaktime in recent years, and the only focus they give each other is to laugh and mess around as they scoff their sandwiches hungrily. I can remember feeling terribly awkward in front of the other kids. Would I take too big a bite of my sandwich, would I laugh at the wrong moment, say the wrong thing, and worse still, would my fruit juice fizz out all over me? I spent a lot of time worrying about what could happen and possibly being laughed at and not enough time just laughing along with the other kids. I remember watching the other kids getting…